Have I done the workouts?
Are they becoming incredibly difficult?
In reality, no, but for whatever reason my brain is fighting me tooth and nail on this one, therefore they feel brutal.
It's true. I did my workouts on Monday and Tuesday kicking and screaming. I guess it's just one of those weeks where everything in my body is saying "sit down, eat this, you'll feel better". It's crazy how strong that impulse can be, and how incredibly difficult it is to fight it. I'm pretty sure hormones are playing a huge role in all of this too.
I took last night off but I feel ok about it. What I haven't been mentioning is that in addition to doing my scheduled p90x workouts, I have been working out on my lunch breaks. I have been doing this from the beginning because I wanted to reach a certain calorie burn (400-500 calories) per workout and I knew that the p90x workouts were hard and I might not be able to finish them before I hit my burn. So I've been walking in order to reach my goal. It's actually been a life saver. For instance, take last night. I was beat when I got home from work. Just tired to the bone. But I had actually had a decent lunch time workout and hit 50% of my calorie burn for the day so I chose to take the night off from p90x (I get one a week).
But in full disclosure, the workouts I have done this week were mediocre at best. I have to remind myself that in order to see any sort of results I just can't phone in these workouts. They're tough for a reason. They're tough because they get the job done. And knowing how hard they are makes me want to do them even less.
It's a double edged sword. Take Monday night for instance. Truly a tough time getting motivated to workout. For whatever reason I was just feeling completely down on myself. You know the drill - looking in the mirror and not seeing any sort of progress, clothes feeling like they were 2 sizes too small and while it seems counter-intuitive, the last thing on earth I wanted to do was workout because I felt disgusting. Truly insane I know - I mean, the only way to combat those things is working out and getting in better shape!! So, I huffed and puffed my way through the workout that night til I hit my burn and I collapsed. And I guarantee you I whined through the whole thing. I'm sure if anyone had been watching me they would have been laughing because I probably looked like a 2 year old throwing a tantrum.
In addition, my eating has been less than stellar. I felt it coming. I mean if I was feeling that way about working out imagine the eating portion. So instead of giving up or giving in, I compromised with myself. I have allowed myself to eat at maintenance this week. If I eat less great, but definitely no more. I knew that if I tried to restrict my calories I would have, at some point, gone crazy. So, I'm eating what I'm supposed to, I'm just allowing myself to have maintenance calorie levels. And you know what, it's the best idea I've had in a long time. It allows me to have some sort of control when every other function in my body feels out of control.
And that's been my week 3 thus far.
Hopefully I will have a different tale to tell tomorrow.
B: Protein Shake
S: Turkey Jerkey
L: Italian Stew + slice ww bread
D: unplanned thus far
Tomorrow is check in day. Weighing in and measuring for the week. Here's hoping ...